Honesty and happiness

My recent forays into the dating scene and discussions with some of my friends have enlightened me to one important quality in the search for happiness. That quality, I believe, is nothing more than honesty, both with oneself and to others.

No one doubts the value of being honest to others, but I think that honesty with oneself is something that is extremely undervalued or not even recognized by many. Being honest with oneself means critically examining the choices that she or he makes with regards to things such as careers, dating, and outward behavior. Once one becomes truly open to his or her own feelings, I think that this person will be in a very good---if not the best---position to positively affect their life. Knowledge is power and it precludes constructive action, so I don't think that self-honesty is a quality whose value can be challenged.

But is this quality enough to achieve happiness? That question is debatable and subtle. A friend of mine argues that it is not simply enough to know what makes us the happiest. Often times we are unable to achieve those things. For example, a love interest may not reciprocate romantic feelings or income may not suffice to live the lifestyle of one's choosing. For this reason she argues that finding satisfaction with the things that she currently has is more important than knowing what makes her happy, since these things might not be attainable.

I can think of examples of friends with whom this idea may not work. Specifically, I have friends who are miserable at their jobs but are unwilling to switch because the money supports their lifestyles well. I concede that they may truly value their own entertainment and financial freedom more than satisfaction with their careers, but I honestly don't believe this. Being unhappy at work bleeds over into so many other aspects of their lives, so I doubt that settling for five unfulfilled days a week is an optimum behavior for being happy. Here I believe that a close self-examination of their situations would reveal the culprit behind their discontent and provide the basis for making a change for the better.

Despite this counterexample, my friend's advice has definite merit. I suppose then that there can be no general rule for finding happiness with either of the two approaches. Individuals must find a blend of the two that works for them and provides them a degree of satisfaction that they can be, well, satisfied with.

Side notes: What are the obstacles to self-honesty? Why do people value the things that keep them from attaining the maximum degree of happiness? I may be in error by placing so much emphasis on a quantification of happiness, but I think that without this tool I have no way of discussing it. I do wonder, though, what other models exist for such a thing.

Happiness and careers

Last night I had a conversation with a friend about the nature of work and our careers. For context, I'm a graduate student entering my fifth year and hoping to finish in six; he's three years older than I am and working as a programmer for a web development company. Careers are important parts of the lives of those of us in our mid-to-late twenties since we are working so hard to establish them. The popular thought is that without a proper career, we can not find happiness later in life. This happiness comes from the attainment of wealth, family, and the approval of our friends and family for having achieved these things. This, at least, is my interpretation of the general consensus of my generation.

My observation is that, from this viewpoint, the happiness obtained by a career is from things external to ourselves. Wealth, a family, and social recognition are all independent of our own minds. But I think people often fail to realize the importance of the internal rewards earned through their careers. For example, one can find happiness knowing that their job helps others (teachers, doctors) or is aesthetically pleasing (artists, mathematicians). This is evident by the number of people willing to teach and the "starving artists" that frequent coffee shops and small venues the world over.

Many of my close friends are struggling to find what exactly they value more: internal or external rewards for their hard work. Granted, the two are not mutually exclusive, but the optimal ratio of the amount of the one to the other-the one that provides the greatest degree of happiness-can vary drastically depending upon the individual. Unfortunately, failing to recognize which of the two any of my friends value more can keep them from finding contentment.

A simple recognition of one's own values is not enough to find happiness with a career, though it certainly is an important first step. This observation (that self-understanding is not sufficient) underscores the importance of acting on one's desires. However, it takes courage to change careers (or even jobs within the same field), especially considering that one might suffer a severe cut in pay or the uncertainty in reestablishing oneself in a new workplace. An additional difficulty with changing jobs is that people may place the values of others above their own in deciding upon their career path. A society might greatly value wealth, so a person may lock themselves into a high-paying job, despite being unhappy, because it's what others think is important. In this case, I believe that the individual's values should trump those of others, though this too takes a certain degree of courage and sense of self.

To summarize, the point of a career is to find an optimum degree of contentment. This comes in the form of compensation, which includes both external and internal rewards. Though not mutually exclusive, people tend to favor one type of reward over the other. Failure to recognize what one wants out of their career often leads to boredom and discontent, but so too does failing to change careers because of prejudices based upon what career success means. The first step in finding happiness is to establish one's values, then act accordingly. This will take courage, but many things in life that are worthwhile do.

After thought:  I didn't address it, but some people may also find difficulty pursuing their chosen career field, which adds another degree of complexity to my analysis. For example, women may face barriers in many fields dominated by men. Consideration of these factors might change my conclusions, but I think that for the most part they apply in general.

Where does happiness fall within a world view?

In my first post I concluded with a paragraph that began as follows:

The grander purpose [of this blog] is that I wish to create my own philosophy upon which I can base my actions, thoughts, and conclusions. I've come to believe that people give meaning to their own lives and for me it is in analyzing and placing this world in a context with which I can admire its beauty and complexity. But this can only be done once I wrestle from it the essential facts and shape them into some meaningful form, as humans are meant to do.

The other night while reading in a coffee shop I realized that this statement is a bit naive. I think that the statement is in general true; I believe that it is worth our while to take some control of the factors that influence our lives, such as our relationships to others and our general outlook, rather than play the part of the passive observer. There's a certain nobility to reducing life to its basis. Doing so provides us the intellectual materials that are required to place us in the position to be masters of our own existence. However, a singular intellectual pursuit of translating our realities into a coherent framework leaves little room for spontaneous joy. This is because of the enormous complexity of reality--it may simply be too much for any individual to fully understand. And the rejection of happiness for a synthetic, mindful pursuit smacks a bit too much of piousness for my own taste.

So how can happiness fit into one's world view, especially one whose aim is to critically examine every piece of information that it is presented? If I were to fully understand my life through contemplation, would I be happy? If I gave up entirely upon philosophy to focus my energies on more tangible sources of enjoyment such as my friends and going out every night, would this provide me with contentment? My opinion is that neither extreme can give me the most satisfaction. As usual, a balance between the two seems to be the best option. But these concerns raise more fundamental and interesting questions.

Is happiness an end to be achieved by the meaning and goals we set for ourselves, or does the pursuit of these goals fill us with contentment, regardless of whether they are achieved? Maybe happiness is obtained independently of how we choose to run our lives, but I doubt it. Furthermore, I know that I find happiness in both the satisfaction of the mind and in the body. Does this mean that there exist two forms of happiness, or are they one in the same?

To be fair to myself, I think I understood that the statement that I began this piece with was naive when I originally wrote it, hence the conclusion:

Intellect was not bestowed upon us to simply reflect on reality; we were meant to transform a piece of it into something that we can claim as our own, even if it be the tiniest fraction of what we know of as existence.

Perhaps we who possess philosophical tendencies should be content with just taming "the tiniest fraction" and cease our metaphysical exertions lest we be consumed by our own minds.